Colourblind from the Black and White
by warrior of the nile
Summary: Waking up with someone other than your boyfriend is trouble for anyone. It's even more trouble when you didn't willingly go to bed with that person. And it just plain sucks when said boyfriend doesn't believe you when you tell him this. Tony finds all of this out one morning when he wakes up beside Loki. Who knew that a little case of the sex pollen could cause so many problems.


So, this is another 'quick' story that I wrote that turned into something WAY bigger than it should. This seems to be a pattern lately. It's a problem. In case anyone missed the tag, THIS IS A SALTY FIC. You may need a tall glass of water after reading this. Honestly, I thought I was passed a lot of this and then... this came out. Obviously not. This is basically a Team Iron Man fic without having anything to do with CW at all.  
For anyone who wants a bit... fluffier fic (those who survived without bitterness in their soul) then there isNaming Every Shade of Grey, which is much happier than this. It's a mirror to this story, only it's with the team we deserve instead of the team we got.  
Warning for dub-con cause it's sex pollen. (I'm playing with tropes again with this, watch out.)  
For anyone who has read Naming Every Shade of Grey, the beginning of the story is the same. If you want to skip that part, everything new starts with the line: He zeroes in on Steve.

* * *

Tony wakes up with a groan. God he feels like he has been run over by – not by a truck. That's technically the saying, but he has had personal experience with that unfortunately. He knows exactly what that feels like and this isn't it. Not a truck, but _something_. He aches all over, particularly his lower back and ass and _oh..._ Right. Sex.

Sex would definitely be the cause of his full body ache, although he's never gotten to this extreme before. Just what the hell did he and Steve get into for them to get it on like that? Normally Steve is very conscious of his strength and cautious of how he uses it even if Tony will egg him on sometimes. Rough sex is a thing. It happens when he has an itch that needs scratching so to speak. Not all the time, but it would be a shame to waste all of that muscle. Surely there's no shame in a strength kink when your boyfriend is a supersoldier. As if Tony has any shame left to give. He used it all before he graduated MIT.

He sighs and snuggles back farther into the arm draped around his waist. Yeah, sex with Steve is great. Anything is great with Steve really. Sometimes Tony can't believe that they're really dating. They are actually together and have actually been together for months now. Five months miraculously. Tony is secretly counting the days till their six month anniversary.

He's secretly a romantic although he'll never tell anyone. He has a reputation to maintain after all. But some days he really can't believe how lucky he is. Steve just might be the best thing that has ever happened to him. Which might be the endorphins talking, but that is neither here nor there. Point is, he's head over heels for his boyfriend.

He never thought they would get to this point. Not with all the issues in the way – Howard being the biggest and the brightest of them all, but by no means the only one either. Their first meeting was a disaster and Tony can understand why once he had all the information. Loki's scepter wasn't the only problem. Apparently Steve hadn't even been unfrozen for a month yet, more like weeks, before he was thrown into the next fight. That's going to cause some issues right there. Not to mention some personality differences and... well, no need to list everything.

He's mildly worried about not remembering the sex they had last night, but not enough to really panic yet. Most of the time his brain is instantly online once he wakes. Up and thinking and inventing even if he technically loathes mornings. His daily coffee intake is a sure sign of that. But every now and then, if he manages to get a peaceful night without any nightmares or stray thoughts, his brain takes a little longer to turn on.

Steve stretches behind him in his sleep when Tony realizes two things in rapid succession – that _isn't_ Steve and JARVIS hasn't said anything yet, not even a quite beep so he doesn't wake Steve up. Tony jerks away and about has a panic attack right then and there. Loki.

It is Loki in his bed with him. Naked.

And Tony is naked.

And JARVIS still hasn't said anything.

Tony scrambles out of bed and falls gracelessly onto the floor. He barely notices, too busy focusing on other things. Like figuring out how in the hell _Loki_ is in his bed. And where Steve is. And _what the actual fuck is going on here_. Little things like that.

Seriously how? Sure Loki has been living with them the past few months. Ever since Thor came back, dragging him along and saying that Odin has ordered Loki to atone for his crimes by helping them. As to be expected the only person who was thrilled about this was Thor. Clint about lost it. No one else was much happier.

Tony suspects that not only does Asgard regard Earth as inferior, they also use it as their dumping ground for the unwanted. Thor might have a new respect for them, but he's likely the only one. Tony loathes being underestimated and used like that even more than he loathes mornings.

So it's been a rough couple of months since then. Loki is clearly of the same opinion as all of them and stays out of the way when he can. It suits them just fine. Tony himself feels a bit edgy around the god. Not because he had been thrown out the window ironically enough. No. It's because of the nuke. Because he _saw_ the army. And he sensed something, up there. Something powerful and terrifying and nothing like anything Tony has ever experienced before.

There are implications there that he doesn't really want to think about. So he doesn't. But it's hard to ignore them when you have a constant reminder always present Bad enough that he can't go to the roof anymore to relax. Loki is a constant reminder of something that has fucked his mental health up even more than it already was. So he avoids him.

None of that screams 'take me to bed'. Sure he has noticed Loki is handsome in an abstract sort of way. He's human and he's not dead. Of course he noticed that, technically speaking, Loki is fucking hot. That doesn't mean Tony wants to do anything about it.

Nor is he one to cheat. He isn't. For some reason when people hear the title 'playboy' they also think 'cheater'. He _isn't_. That is one of those lines he refuses to cross. Once he is with someone, he is with someone. End of story. People would be shocked to learn that most of the time in his relationships, when he has them that is, it's not him who does the breaking up. It's the other person. Rhodey once said that he has the loyalty of a particularly obstinate Hufflepuff. He's not wrong.

So what the fuck happened?!

Loki grumbles as he stretches and opens one eye blearily, "Stark," he greets, voice hoarse with sleep.

Tony's breath picks up and he hates it. "What the fuck?" he asks both angrily and panicked.

Loki frowns. "You do not recall what occurred yesterday?" he asks, still sprawled out on Tony's bed as if he has a right to be there. As if there is ever a world that Tony would trust Loki enough to take him to bed, even if he was single. _Which he isn't_.

Tony opens his mouth to say something both biting and negative when his brain gets the message and begins functioning again. They had been called out for a battle yesterday afternoon against these alien... flowers of all things. Seriously, it was like someone took a daisy, enlarged it and made it sentient. They were at least twice the size of the Hulk, if not taller. And they packed a mean punch. With Thor off... doing whatever Odin dragged him away for, they were down one heavy hitter.

If that wasn't bad enough, Tony somehow ended up fighting with Loki of all people. Seriously, it could have been anyone else on the team, but it had to be Loki. Tony had been dodging one giant leaf arm thing when he twisted and saw that Loki was fighting five of them by himself. No one else was moving to help him, clearly intent on letting him deal with them himself. Even as he watched Loki was hit, feet sliding across the road as he somehow kept his balance.

Now Tony is an asshole. He will make no argument with any person who tells him he is. He likes to be aware of his faults thank you very much. And he has trust issues like no one's business. But even he isn't so much of an asshole to let Loki fight that battle by himself. Thor was usually the one that had that so called honor. It was clear, just by watching them, that no matter what issues they may have now, they are use to fighting together. Their styles match up, fitting together perfectly.

And now, without Thor, Loki is by himself and struggling. Well, maybe struggling isn't the right word for it exactly. Tony can't imagine Loki being anything but self sufficient to be honest. It's not that he's doing badly per se. Loki is obviously a vicious little shit and not to be messed with. Tony is impressed actually, not that he'll ever tell anyone that. But it is also clear that he is expecting Thor to be there when he isn't with some of those moves. He leaves openings he shouldn't and it is going to get him hurt.

So Tony put on his big boy pants, metaphorically speaking of course, and went to help. Loki had snarled at him, but surprisingly it wasn't a complete disaster. Tony had a good idea of how Loki fought already, having analyzed it. Loki had obviously done the same. They were, if not matched, than certainly compatible partners. It made something under Tony's skin itch, but he had ignored it.

It was still rough though and Tony knew he was going to have to do a complete overhaul of the suit after this, if not replace it entirely. At one point one of the daisies had clearly had enough and blown... something on them. It looked like pollen, kind of, but it didn't do anything, either to him or Loki, so Tony ignored it.

When they had gotten back to the Tower Tony had stripped off the suit and headed for the penthouse, intent on a shower. Steve had said something about joining him in a little bit, as soon as he grabbed some new clothes. Tony had winked and gotten into the elevator. It was just his luck that Loki had been there too, but he ignored him.

Or that was the plan anyways.

And this is where his memories take a surreal turn. He remembered feeling a bit hot when he exited the suit. Not hot as in sweaty, but a bit horny to be honest. Nothing big, adrenaline response and all that. But it exponentially increased as soon as he saw Loki. He opened his mouth to say something and the next thing he knew they were kissing. _Kissing_. More than that, Tony had attempted to try to climb Loki like a tree. Loki hadn't been much better, hard and ready in a matter of seconds.

It descended from there. From the elevator to the wall to the floor and finally to the bed. Just an alarming amount of sex. It was as if Tony was going to die if he didn't have Loki right then and there. In him, on him, feeling him inside of him. There was a fire in his veins that only Loki could quench. Or that's what it felt like at the time.

"JARVIS unmute," Tony says now, breath picking up. He now remembers muting him sometime in the beginning and now wishes to Lovelace he hadn't.

"I am here Sir," his beautiful, wonderful AI responds instantly. "I have taken the liberty of running some tests due to your rather unusual response."

"Do not bother," Loki says, still far too calm for Tony's liking, "It appears we have been victims of some powerful aphrodisiacs yesterday."

"Sex pollen?" Tony blurts out. "Are you fucking kidding me right now. Fucking _sex pollen_?"

"Do you believe I would be here if it were not the case?" he raises and eyebrow at Tony.

Tony... well Tony begins to laugh, if a bit hysterically. Sex pollen. It's like his life is straight out of a bad sci fi movie anymore. First mention of tentacle porn and he is _out_. But at the same time it is either laugh or cry and the latter certainly isn't an option. Tony feels his skin crawl, the sated feeling replaced by disgust and panic.

"I do hope this isn't enough to break your mind Stark. You are the only halfway tolerable one around here," Loki sneers before stretching.

Tony can see the scratches that haven't fully healed yet and gets a dark sense of pleasure. At least he wasn't the passive partner in this disaster. At least he managed to leave a mark. "You are remarkably calm about this," he says.

"The first time is the worse," Loki answers.

The words – and their meaning – make Tony's skin itch all the more. The first time? What? With sex pollen, or? He doesn't ask. He doesn't want to know. Suddenly he has the intense urge to vomit. "I'm just going to," he stumbles to his feet.

"Do not scrub too hard," he hears Loki call after him, "No matter how much you bleed it does not help."

Fan-fucking-tastic. Tony loses the contents of his stomach inside the toilet. His sides heave and he chokes on nothing. Gasping for air he cannot seem to get, he clings to the rim. JARVIS is saying something, but Tony can't make out what it is. His vision begins to go black. A presence behind him draws him out and it makes him flinch. It is Loki, of course it is, close but not touching.

"Easy Stark. Match my breaths," he orders as he breathes in and out slowly.

Tony fumbles to copy him, gagging a few more times before he manages.

Loki does not say anything nor does he move the entire time. All he does is kneel in front of Tony and breathe.

Tony can feel another bout of hysterical laughter coming. This isn't the first time Loki has knelt at his feet. The first time was yesterday. Turns out at there is more than one reason for him to have the title Silvertongue. He laughs even as he chokes.

"Good," he says curtly once Tony has finally begun breathing normally again. "Shower and then have a light meal. I will stay only long enough to ensure your safety, then I will be gone."

"Why?" Tony croaks, voice hoarse.

"You will have to be more specific. The reason for the shower should be obvious. As for the meal, you need the energy but your stomach is going to be uneasy for some time.

But Tony shakes his head, "Why are you doing this?" he elaborates.

"I do not like you Stark," he says bluntly, "I do not like any in this Tower. I do not want to be here nor do any of you wish for my presence. But you fought by my side yesterday when you did not have to. And I believe no one should go through this alone. After this you will have your Captain to support you."

Tony can understand the sentiment, but still can't help but ask, "What about you?"

"As ever I will be fine on my own," Loki says flatly.

Tony wants to call bullshit, but the itching under his skin is getting worse. The need to claw and to scratch and to scrub the phantom touch from his memory is getting out of hand.

Loki stands elegantly. "Shower stark and do be careful. I would hate to answer to Thor if something should happen to you while in my company." He leaves without a backwards glance.

Tony is fine with that. He steps into the shower and orders JARVIS to turn it as hot as it can go. His AI obeys, adjusting the water so it is as scalding as it can without harming him. Tony wants to protest, but doesn't. He's too busy washing. Memories of last night are attempting to mix with Afghanistan, making for some hellish thoughts.

If the circumstances weren't what they were then Tony would never shower like this. He still can't swim or have a bubble bath like he use to adore. He can shower though, but only if he isn't out of his mind with stress or trauma or some such crap his brain likes to throw at him. Right now he is in a very bad state of mind. But it would be even worse without so he has JARVIS read him the newest articles in whatever engineering magazine he thinks sounds interesting. It is enough for him to hold on, if only by the skin of his teeth.

His skin is red and raw by time he is done, but it still doesn't help. He would still be in there if JARVIS hadn't shut it off. It is infuriating because the thing is, if things had been different, he wouldn't have cared. If he wasn't with Steve, if his choice hadn't been taken away from him, yesterday would have gone down in his records as the best top five sexual encounters he has ever had. Maybe even number one. Loki, for all that he had been as starved for it as Tony, was a considerate and creative lover.

But he was with Steve and he didn't have a choice, so that made everything different.

Christ, Steve. Loki had mentioned him before, but it is only hitting Tony now. Steve. He doesn't remember seeing him since the battle. Did he walk in on that? Did he see? Or did something come up and he never made it to Tony's room?

All he wants right now is for Steve to hug him tightly and tell him it is going to be alright. He is shaking and it feels as if he is going to fall apart any minute now. He wants Steve to hold him together. Maybe that makes him selfish, but right now he doesn't care. Selfishness is the least among his sins. The purest, compared to the others.

He stumbles out of the bathroom and heads straight to his closet. He notices that, true to his word, Loki is still here. He sits against the headboard, book in hand. When he looks up Tony hastily looks away. Blindly he pulls on the MIT hoodie he stole from Rhodey long ago and the softest pair of sweatpants he owns. The hoodie engulfs him, but its still not enough. Maybe he can convince Steve to lend him one of his. Shouldn't be too hard. That sounds pretty good right now.

"You can," Tony awkwardly motions to the bathroom, "if you want," he offers before he flees.

In the elevator he pulls the hood up and attempts to control his breathing. Fuck this sucks. Like, on a scale of one to ten this is a negative five. Completely unsatisfactory, would not go back, would not do again.

He enters the kitchen to find the rest of the team having breakfast. Instantly all eyes are on him, but he doesn't care. He zeroes in on Steve. As he wobbles over he abruptly realizes how cold his eyes are. How cold all their eyes are. He is feeling very judged all of a sudden. A whine escapes his throat without his permission and he holds out a hand. "Steve?" he asks, voice sounding small.

"What Stark?" Steve asks, voice as cold as his eyes.

"Can... can I have a hug?" It goes against everything in him to ask, but he desperately needs this. He just might shatter if he doesn't get one, "Yesterday was shit and fuck sci fi tropes and fuck aliens and fuck Loki for being there and fuck Thor for not and please?" He hates the way that it sounds as if he is begging, but Steve isn't moving and the team is glaring at him and...

"Fuck Loki is right," Clint spits.

Tony flinches. He can't help it. There is enough venom in that response to kill a crowd. "Fucking _sex pollen_ ," he answers, beginning to babble, "Can you believe it? Like apparently sex pollen is a real thing, as if we don't have enough weirdness, and _wow_. You have no idea how powerful that shit is. It's like being on acid on the moon or some crazy shit. Like being on fire and having _no_ refractory period to speak of and being Olympic medal flexible and damn if it doesn't take you right out of your head. I've never had sex like that, even when I was at the height of my playboy days and can I please have that hug now because I can't seem to shut up and I really need one and-"

"No." Steve's answer cuts through Tony's words like a knife.

"No?" he echoes, shocked.

"No Stark," Steve continues, "I am not going to sit here and listen to you make excuses about why you cheated on me."

"With the enemy," Clint adds, still pissed as hell.

"But, but, you can't seriously think that I would cheat on you, do you? Why the hell would I cheat on you?! I don't even _like_ Loki! Don't you think if I would, it would at least be with someone that I _liked_?" They can't think that poorly of him, can they? They've been a team for a year now. Tony has even started to think of them as family, tentatively, in the safety of his own mind. They can't honestly think he is _that kind_ of an asshole.

Can they?

Going by the look in their eyes, yes. Yes they can. Not even Bruce seems to be on his side and he is Tony's science bro.

He shakes his head when Tony looks at him. "Abuse wasn't the only thing I had to put up with growing up," he says lowly, "Brian was a real piece of work."

"JARVIS is running tests," he says desperately, "I bled enough on the armour, he'll pick the aphrodisiacs up."

"You mean he hasn't already?" Natasha asks, finally speaking up.

"Indeed I have. Once I knew exactly what I was looking for I was easily able to find high levels of aphrodisiacs in Sir's blood."

What a wonderful, _amazing_ AI with wonderful and amazing timing. "See?" he says eagerly.

"And we're just suppose to trust your AI?" Clint asks, "As if he wouldn't lie for you."

"How did he know what to look for to begin with?" Natasha asks then.

Tony stares down at the floor, "Loki realized what happened and pointed it out," he admits, "But JARVIS would have found it even without that info, isn't that right Jay?" he adds quickly, ignoring the sting of distrust from Clint. JARVIS is reliable? He has trusted JARVIS with his life ever since he created him. He's been there when no one else has. How can Clint accuse him of something like that?

Easily enough as it happens, just as all the team seems to be blaming him easily enough. As Steve can turn all his love and warmth off. He doesn't even look pissed or heart broken. He just looks blank. Ice. Like the ice he was once frozen in.

Is he really that easy to discard?

"Apple pie?" he can't help asking. Maybe the nickname will bring Steve back to himself. He will realize how ridiculous this is. He will remember how much Tony loves him. He will tug him close and hold him tight enough to stop Tony from shattering. Everything will be alright.

But that doesn't happen. If anything it has the opposite effect.

"You no longer get to call me that. You lost that right when you decided it was a good idea to stick Loki's dick down your throat."

Tony wants to protest. He wants to make a joke about Steve saying dick, even though he well knows Steve has as dirty a mouth as any of them. He wants to cry. "What if you did your own test," he asks quickly, turning to Bruce, "Your own sample, own equipment, own everything. That way you can see for yourself." That would work, wouldn't it?

Bruce looks as if he is considering it and Tony feels a spark of hope. If he can get Bruce on his side then surely he can help with the others. They all like Bruce even if it took some time for them to get use to him, ridiculous as that was. The Big Guy is great. And they'll have science on their side too. This could work.

But then Clint snorts, "What, after you could have already tampered with the remaining blood?"

Bruce sighs and takes his glasses off to clean them, a nervous tick of his. "Clint is right. Besides how could I be sure of the results in any case? It's been hours now."

Tony feels the spark die even as he wants to call bullshit. This isn't Bruce questioning the science. This is Bruce not wanting to get involved. Coward. Coward he thinks suddenly and viciously. He is shaking so hard he thinks his bones are going to break. He feels dirty and used and oh look, it seems he can still feel shame after all. Awesome. He is on the edge of another panic attack and now not only is he freaking out, he is very, _very._ Pissed. Off.

Standing there in the middle of the common floor's kitchen, he realizes something. This is a family after all. But not the happily ever after kind that Disney likes to preach about. It is exactly the kind that Tony is use to – biting and useless. Never there when you need them and always there to kick him when he's down.

Is he really that easy to discard?

Of course he is. He should know that by now. He will always be the first one to be thrown away. That's just how it is. Looking up sharply, he returns all their looks, glare for glare. He doesn't even say anything. He lets his eyes do the talking for him. They obviously don't want to hear what he has to say, so he won't waste his breath. He then turns on his heels and walks out of the room with his shredded dignity and composure holding on by a thread.

:::

The next week is a new form of hell for Tony. None of the team is talking to him. They act as if he is a ghost. No, worse than that. People react to ghosts, however unintentionally they do. No. They act as if he isn't even there. Invisible. Soundless and formless. As if he doesn't exist any more. It is even worse than if they decided to glare and sneer at him.

Not that he sees them much, seeing as he goes directly to his workshop to ride out his panic attack and the sequential attacks at follow at its heel. He only came up out of habit. He is use to making time to surface, just small breaks between projects, to find Steve if he isn't busy. To show that he hasn't completely forgotten about him. That he still cares. That first time his feet are on auto pilot and his brain focused on something else. He doesn't even realize it at first.

When he does it is as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped on him. Oh right. His team are faithless, fickle people who must have secretly hated him from the beginning. Yeah, he's still pissed as well as panicked. He thinks he's allowed that at least. Surely the world can't begrudge him that. Although with his luck it probably can.

Dirty and ashamed and out of his skin with emotions. Sleep is a distant thing. He can't even step foot into his room without feeling sick. He's been using the couch in the shop, when his body insists on laying down. It usually doesn't take very long for him to get back up again. Loki gets mixed up with the Ten Rings and the deadly silence of space. Steve and the team gets mixed up with Obie and Howard. It's a cocktail for disaster.

One of the first things he does is compile a folder of all the evidence of the Incident as he is calling it. Everything from the blood tests to the video of him and Loki together. He crops the feed from his helmet to the moment they both get sprayed. He even has, thanks to JARVIS, a sample of the damn stuff. It's in a sealed container so no one can be affected, but he has it. There is a sort of vindictive pleasure to putting everything together even as he ends up throwing up again.

Yes. This is real. This happened. This is not something he made up or something that Loki lied about. He has evidence. He has proof. This isn't his fault. This isn't even Loki's fault. They are both victims to this fucked up pollen. Yes. It means shit to the team, but everything to Tony at this point.

Speaking of Loki, he hasn't seen him at all. He doesn't know how the team will react to him, but he can't believe it will be any better than Tony himself. Better or worse he doesn't know. He's kind of afraid to know at this point. Which one would be worse? He's not sure about that either.

Then, because the universe doesn't hate him enough obviously, they get a call to assemble. Even better it looks as if some mad scientist or overachieving, yet under budgeted, kid decided to have fun with gene splicing then let the zoo out to play. There's everything imaginable – and not – loose right now. There's the weird polar bear that looks like it mated with a ram. A rabbit that isn't a rabbit with fangs and claws. The lovely combination of a crab and an antelope. The list can just go on and on.

"JARVIS, do a quick scan and tell me how many of these things are loose, will you?"

"Scanning now Sir. It would appear that there are fifteen of these creatures roaming the streets."

"Great. Thanks." He switches over to the general comms and says, "Boy are cryptozoologists going to have fun with this one. Jay is picking up fifteen of these things. How are we- shit," he yelps as he dodges a creature coming right at him. It's the creepiest mix of a frog and possibly a bat ever. He didn't want to think about that but now his brain is going to be trying to figure out what each of these freaks are suppose to be originally. Awesome. Just what he wants right now.

Steve doesn't wait for him to finish his sentence before he begins giving out orders. Nor does he ask if Tony is alright. Which, okay then, thanks for that. Good to know he's still appreciated in the field and all that. Way to go, not letting personal emotions get in the way Cap. Always good to count on professionalism.

Not that he's bitter or anything. Not at all.

And then frogie's two friends appear and start chasing him as well. Great. It's like a game of tag, only all three of them are it. They almost seem to be playing more than anything. Except for the part where their tongues keep darting out at him like they want a taste of him. Maybe they want to eat him. Maybe they're just curious. Tony can frankly live without knowing which one it is. They are agile things, able to follow all of his twists and turns.

It is soon clear that the pattern has been set on how the others are going to treat him. They aren't ignoring him. Not exactly. When he flies close enough Clint does shoot one for him, taking the number down to two. But they aren't talking to him either. It's essentially the same way they treat Loki in a fight and wow, so that's why Thor gets so pissed at them about it. This sucks.

Glancing down occasionally he sees how well the others are doing – or aren't doing in some cases. Hulk is having a grand time with the polar bear/ram hybrid. And a ape/cheetah hybrid by the looks of it. He can hear him roaring in delight. Yeah he's good. Clint has this odd turtle/duck combo that keeps circling him like a bad penny. Steve and Natasha keep changing animals, but Tony sees a rather determined lion/lizard stalking him. He lets him know, but all he gets is a grunt in response. At one point Natasha is riding a chicken/armadillo and Tony about loses it from laughing too hard.

When he checks in on Loki quickly, he sees he is doing battle with a rhino/orca, a feral grin on his face. Yeah... Tony isn't going to touch that one. Someone is obviously having fun. He won't be the one to deprive him of it. Crazy space vikings.

After what seems like forever, Tony finally brings down the last of his little followers. That one was _definitely_ trying to eat him, the little shit. You would think after the first lick he would stop. Tony's suit can't possibly taste that good. It can't taste good at all actually. But apparently the brog had disagreed. Still, despite that little fact, it felt good, flying like that.

He always loved flying. It is one of his favorite parts of the suit. Flying has always helped him relax. And this was essentially just a maneuverability test. Low risk and high reward. It makes muscles he didn't even realize he had tensed loosening. Wow does that feel good. Sure this is shitty right now, still being ignored. But he hasn't been up against anything too dangerous yet. It's almost fun, here and now. Of course he knew he had been tense before, but he hadn't realized just how much these last seven days had taken a toll on him. It was hell sure, but he had been a couple levels deeper than he thought clearly.

He takes a quick glance at the battle to see how the others are doing. Good as far as he can tell. Hulk is still having fun. Natasha has abandoned her valiant steed, but is now dealing with the crab/antelope that looks more like it wants to adopt her than fight her. Steve's liozard definitely wants to play more than fight. Turns out it was stalking his shield because Steve is having a time keeping it away from the hybrid. Tony can't help snickering at that, which gets him a sharp remark and hey. Progress.

But it's clear that none of the others want his help so he says, "Alright Jay, what do we have left?"

"There is what seems to be a cross between a bear and a kangaroo three blocks away Sir," he answers.

Tony grins. "Let's get to work then." He zooms down and quickly spots the animal. Yikes, if that isn't an interesting one. JARVIS wasn't joking. Really, who thought that was a good idea? It's a strong shit too, as Tony quickly finds out when it manages to kick him. Ouch.

He ends up playing another game of tag, only this one is less curious and more pissed off. Definitely not what you would call a happy camper. Then Tony sees a scorch mark on its shoulder and fully understands. Ah, Natasha is the one who pissed it off, but didn't finish the job. Now Tony is the lucky one who gets to. Oh goody.

He takes aim and fires. The beararoo roars in displeasure. Tony can feel a smile form on his face and realizes he probably shouldn't talk about crazy space vikings if he is going to grin like this. It does explain a few things about Loki though. Clearly he had long ago realized what good stress relief this is.

Speaking of the Devil, Tony rounds a corner and finds him already there, still battling the same hybrid, although it is clear who is winning. "Mind if I join the party?" Tony asks, "I brought a friend," he motions even as he spins out of the way of another kick.

Loki gives him that same feral grin. "If you think you can keep up," he answers.

"Not the one with performance issues here sweet cheeks," Tony quips and then realizes what he just said. Especially compared to their last... encounter.

But Loki's smile just widens. "Funny, that isn't what I heard," is all he says.

Tony has the intense urge to stick out his tongue at him but doesn't because he is a mature adult. Also Loki wouldn't be able to see it. They end up fighting back to back, switching back and forth between their respective foes. It goes even smoother than last time. They are even more in sync with each other, acting as a mirror of another. Tony... isn't really sure what to do with that.

Tony is the one to finish off the orca rhino and together he and Loki brought down the beararoo. Both of them are breathing hard, but obviously very satisfied with the results. "JARVIS, head count," he says.

"The rest of the team are finished as well, although the Captain seems to be having some trouble retrieving his shield." JARVIS sounds just a little too gleeful about that, but he always has been protective of Tony. It's only gotten worse since both Obie and Coulson found a way to shut him down. He was _not_ happy either of those incidents. This latest development has only had it worse. "Thirteen of the fifteen are accounted for. Make that fourteen," he adds as Tony hears a meowing.

He looks down to find the oddest looking cat he has ever seen. It is part giraffe, with a long neck and tail, but calico in color. Cat sized too. It rubs around Tony's legs purring. It is frankly adorable – in an ugly sort of way. He can't resist picking it up. Immediately it curls up against him and Tony has the strangest urge to cry.

Fuck emotions, but this is the most positive greeting he has had all week. He doesn't want to give it back, along with the other animals that proved to be non aggressive, his brogs among them. SHIELD is likely going to want to keep them to see how they tick and that's the last thing Tony wants for this little boy? Girl? He checks quickly. Girl.

"All thirteen found and accounted for," Steve says over the comms.

"Only thirteen huh?" Clint asks, "Well look at that Stark. Looks like your AI can be wrong after all."

And that, that comment right there, is when Tony decides to say fuck it. He turns to Loki and asks, "Could you send this little lady to the penthouse?"

"Appropriating a pet for yourself Stark? I approve." The grin he has on his face is full of mischievous pleasure. He pets the cataffe briefly before it is gone. "Do not worry, she will be waiting for you on your return. Now if you excuse me, there is some unfinished business I need to attend to." He walks away, eyes still laughing.

Tony doesn't want to know. "Jay, scan our newest addition and tell me if you can figure out what she eats." He feels absurdly excited about this. Then again he has never had a pet before. Howard would never allow it. And if his pet is a bit unconventional? Well so is he. They match in that regard.

The debriefing that follows feels more stifling than ever. Tony has always found these boring before. When Loki was added into the mix, it added a new level of tension, but not excitement. If anything they were even worse. Now, with the team against him the way they are, they have reached a new level of torture. Fury can sense a change in them, Tony knows he can. It is the look in his eyes, they way he scans them, looking for answers. No one gives him any, which makes him even more unbearable than usual.

Tony escapes as soon as he can. He goes straight back to the penthouse and finds his cataffe curled up on the couch. She jumps down as soon as she sees Tony and weaves around his feet.

"Hello then. Did you miss me?" he asks as he picks her up.

She lays her head on Tony's shoulder and licks his ears.

He startles at the feeling. "Alright, so a giraffe tongue then. Jay, what have you figured out?"

"According to my scans she has the digestive system of a cat rather than a giraffe for the most part, although she should be able to handle rougher food such as leaves and small sticks without problem. Her DNA shows that she is more cat than giraffe, but may have some unique characteristics that point to other minor animal genes being involved."

Ah the joys of bad science. "Any ideas as to what?"

"Further examination will be – Sir, Prince Loki is requesting entry into your room."

Tony thinks for a moment then nods. "Why not." If Loki really wants to talk with him, there's really nothing Tony can do to stop him. He could transport right in if he wanted to. He should probably reinforce good behavior.

Loki walks in. Trailing behind him is yet another hybrid. Looks like Tony now knows what happened to number fifteen. This one is a bumble bee/dog cross. Like a Husky or a German Shepherd or something like that. "Stark," he nods, "I managed to find the young boy responsible for this before SHIELD did. With minimal... persuasion I have both the file on your new pet and have wiped all records of her in his research. He seemed most eager to help when I told him Iron Man wanted to keep her."

Minimal persuasion? Yeah, no. That's another thing Tony isn't going to touch. As long as the kid is fine, there is absolutely no need to question it. Less trouble that way. He watches as Loki's new friend flies over to him than hovers enough to lick his face. Loki scratches his head.

So a) that is adorable, b) he is _never_ telling anyone how adorable he thinks that is and c) why the hell did that kid insist on mixing genes with animals of _very_ different sizes? Tony's cataffe is still in the size range of a cat, but a larger one. Loki's dogee is about the size of a medium size dog. "They say man's best friend is dog," he says. He can't help himself.

"Wolf," Loki says.

"What?"

"He is part wolf, not dog. I have always had an affinity toward wolves," he says casually, but there is something... off about his tone. Something Tony hears more instinctually rather than physically. To anyone else that would have sounded perfectly normal.

Oh. That sounds slightly ominous. Tony has read some of those myths, after the invasion. Even then he had gotten the feeling it wasn't the last he would see of them. Best to be prepared as well as he could be. Obviously those stories can't be one hundred percent correct, but if there's even a hint of truth to them... Yeah, no. A can of worms best left unopened. "So he's Balto," Tony says instead.

"I do beg your pardon?" Loki asks.

"You don't know who Balto is?"

Loki rolls his eyes, looking far too elegant while doing so. "Yes Stark, because that is such a priority of mine, finding obscure bits of Midgardian culture to read up on. How fascinating."

Tony grins at him. "What a shame . Movie time!" he announces. He hops up, his cataffe still in his arms. He really needs to find a name for her soon. "Come on Rock of Ages. Are you going to miss this chance to educate yourself on an important part of Earth culture?"

Loki glares, sighs, then follows.

Good choice. Once Tony gets an idea in his head, it is impossible to stop him. And if he includes someone else in said plans? They are coming along whether they like it or not. He's been compared to a mule more than once for this habit, but oh well. There's worse things in life. He sprawls across the couch as his cataffe sprawls out on top of him.

Loki takes a chair, tucking his legs under him and wedging himself into a corner. His wolfbee – get it? Wolfbee instead of wolfie? Tony is just too good – jumps up into his lap to join him.

"Show time Jay," Tony says as JARVIS begins to play the movie.

It is only half way through, when Balto and his friends have went after Steel that Tony realizes something that should have been obvious from the start. Being around Loki no longer makes his skin crawl. Oh, he doesn't delude himself that the feeling is gone altogether, but somewhere between this time and the last that Tony saw him, Loki has stopped being a trigger for him. Maybe because his brain finally got the message that Loki didn't have any more choice than Tony did. Maybe because, for all they are technically enemies still, Loki is the only person who is currently civilly talking to Tony. The only one who doesn't hate Tony.

Tony is use to being around people. He's been surrounded by them ever since he could remember. And yes, sometimes he barricaded himself in his workshop for days and weeks at a time. But when he surfaced, he was use to people being there. Some people that he liked. Some people that he didn't. Rhodey and Pepper are at the top of the list, along with Obie before _that_ went to hell. Employees from his company, the other rich and famous he occasionally has to rub elbows with, the general public. Just, _people_.

And now he is currently living in a Tower where only one other person is acknowledging him. That's bound to have some kind of affect on his brain. He should be used to it frankly. It's not as if he has always been surrounded by love and care and happiness. That was never really a thing. But the way the team is acting now reminds him a little too much of Howard, which is... not good.

Then he realizes that he is eventually going to have to tell Pep and Rhodey about this and about groans in despair. Shit. They are going to lose it. Both of his friends are overprotective, vicious things. Maybe he'll get lucky and the full truth will never come out to them. There won't be an Avengers team left if it does. Bad enough that he has to say that Steve broke up with him. Because it can't be Tony because they know how crazy he is about Steve. Damn. This is going to be a mess.

Maybe he can just casually mention it and then flee the country for a while. That would work, right?

"I hate you Stark," Loki announces when the movie is over.

"Aw kit kat, you mean you didn't like it? Don't you feel enlightened on your new pet's name."

"I am _not_ calling him Balto," Loki glares.

Maybe not, but Tony totally is. Who is he to deny a nickname?

Loki continues to glare at him as if he knows exactly what Tony is thinking.

Tony smiles back innocently as if butter wouldn't melt in this mouth. He has no proof – nothing that will stick yet anyways. And he knows that, no matter what it might seem like, Loki can't actually read minds. He checked with Thor, just to make sure. So take that.

"Are you sure you want to go down that path Stark?" he asks.

Tony widens his grin. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," he continues to deny.

"We shall see then," Loki says. And that's all he says.

Maybe a lesser man would be worried, but Tony isn't. Some might call him stupid for that, or maybe naive. He isn't either. He just happens to be a little shit with a big mouth. It's gotten him into trouble sure. But it's also gotten him out of trouble so it evens out. A bit similar to the other person in his room right now, which as a general rule, is something that he doesn't think about.

Tony still hasn't gotten a full story about just what happened between Thor and Loki and Asgard. He somehow doubts that he ever will. But things come out sometimes. Little details that say a whole lot more than they should. And the picture it paints? Let's just say Tony purposefully doesn't look too closely at it for a reason.

Then, because Tony has no self control whatsoever, he decides that watching Wall-E is a good idea. Part of him is expecting Loki to get up and leave at that point, but he stays right where he is. Then it is The Sword in the Stone because Tony is secretly a King Arthur nerd and then it's Mulan because who doesn't love Mulan then... well it continues from the afternoon where JARVIS orders Chinese and has it delivered, into evening where they continue watching, making the occasional commentary and onward until Tony drops off sometime during Indiana Jones.

It is the first peaceful sleep he has gotten in a week. His body, as to emphasize it's point, decides that it is safe here, knocking him out cold. When he wakes up, still sprawled on the couch with cataffe sleeping on his stomach, it has been ten hours. Loki and Balto are still in the chair. Tony stares at them for a long time before he silently gets up and heads to the shower.

Just when did his life get so strange again?

:::

After that, it is as if something has shifted between the two of them. Loki is no longer the enemy, not really. He's not a friend either, but he is an almost friendly face in the middle of a sea of hostility. Tony can't say that he exactly trusts Loki, but he can relax when he is with him. Thor is going to be thrilled, whenever he gets back from wherever the hell he is right now. The All Daddy didn't exactly give them a timeline when he dragged him away. The disregard is enough to drown a person.

Still it's more than he can say for the team right now. They have gone back to ignoring him for the most part. Rogers and Romanoff act as if he isn't even there. Banner refuses to meet his eyes, no matter how hard Tony tries. You know, the super mature thing to do in this situation. He thought avoidance was suppose to be his thing. Although he's never been so cold about it. Not to anyone who doesn't truly deserve it anyways. He has noticed that Barton can't help but make a petty remark every now and again, though. Also extremely mature.

Not that Tony should probably be thinking about that, it isn't as if he has any room to talk, but he is still pissed about it. It's funny. Normally this isn't his usual reaction. It's more of along the lines of resigned acceptance and quiet bitterness. Well, there is bitterness there as well, but no resigned acceptance. Not now. He's not sure why this is different, but it is.

It's a helpless sort of anger because he can't do anything about it. The world still needs the Avengers to protect it. And that means that the Avengers need Tony because he can provide the best of the best so they continue doing just that. Because that is what matters – protecting people. Sure it would be nice if they got along, got to be friends, family, Shield Brothers and Sister, as Thor likes to say. That will certainly help their dynamic. But, technically speaking, they don't need it.

The problem is when their personal feelings get in the way in the field. It hasn't happened so far, but then again they have only had the one battle. There will be a time when it does. When it turns into a disaster because they refuse to work with someone they see as the enemy. They were lucky that didn't happen when Loki first arrived. They were lucky they had Thor.

Now, with the team viewing Tony on the same level, it increases the chances of something happening. Yeah, Tony is now looking out for Loki, but they are a team of two fighting with a team of four – or maybe three and the Big Guy. He hasn't weighed in his opinion on this so far. Not that Tony is counting on him being on his side. Not with the luck he is having anymore.

Trust. Trust is the problem here. He no longer trust them to have his back. He doesn't delude himself to think that they trust him either. They didn't ask for his help. They didn't ask for his opinion. Clint has already decided JARVIS isn't a reliable source on the field. They obviously think the same of Tony now. Loki was never one of them to begin with.

It is a recipe for disaster. Someone is going to get hurt one of these times and they are going to have a problem on their hands if its civilians. Tony has fought too long and too hard to have civilians pay the price for their mistakes. And of course it will be Tony who gets blamed. It always seems to happen that way. Red on his ledger. Ha!

So life goes on. The team continues to be raging assholes. He still hasn't found the courage to tell either Pepper or Rhodey about the end of his relationship. Of course he is going to tell them it is fine, he is fine, he is over it and moving on, but they will know that it is a lie. Not that he is still hung up on Rogers. Nope, that ship has sailed. It sailed the day Rogers had already decided the truth without even talking to Tony first. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell, but that flame has burnt itself out.

But that still doesn't mean he is okay with it. And his two closest friends are going to know it. He is afraid they are going to somehow drag the full story out of him and then there is going to be trouble. Not that his vindictive side wouldn't take pleasure in that, but as previously stated, the world needs the Avengers. Plus Tony is trying to be a good person. Good people don't take pleasure in other's pain. Not that that would make Rhodey and Pep bad people, just extremely overprotective ones.

To top it all off, he is back to having nightmares. Loki's presence has significantly dropped in them. Or, if he is, then he's trapped somewhere with Tony, powerless. It's an odd shift, but one that seems to persist. The team is still getting mixed up with Howard and Obie, which doesn't help the situation on Tony's end at all. They may have never physically injured him, but emotionally they sure did a number.

He and Loki keep up the accidental movie night that Tony had started. There is no pattern to what they watch. They can go straight from Disney to action adventure without question. Loki likes thrillers and horror, but not gore. He complains about how fake it looks. Tony, with his vivid imagination, has never really liked that particular genre. They compromise by watching really bad horror movies to mock.

One of Tony's favorite times is when, after a classic Disney marathon, Loki had asked if Midgardians were purposefully trying to traumatize their children. Tony had laughed until he cried and admitted that most kids – or even adults – don't really think about it.

It's strange, but good. Tony knows he is officially growing on Loki when he manages to get his wolfbee to respond to Balto and _only_ Balto, no matter how much 'affinity' he is suppose to have. Loki retaliates by renaming Lovelace Pumpkin. Joke is on him though. Tony has no shame and gleefully calls her Pumpkin with a smile on his face. Loki's disgusted face when he baby talks her is just a bonus.

Pumpkin is such a good cataffe. She attaches herself to Tony whenever he is in the penthouse and plays while he is in the workshop. So far she hasn't destroyed anything valuable and is litter box trained, thank god. He feeds her cooked meat and the occasional fruit and she thrives with him. It makes him undeniably proud. Tony Stark, pet owner extraordinaire.

It is still too adorable to see Balto follow Loki around, usually by flying rather than walking, although he could if he wanted to. And it seems he is also a cuddle monster. He is always in Loki's lap, or has his head on his thigh or touching him somehow.

One time when Loki was busy he even came over to Tony to cuddle. Pumpkin had responded by hissing, rubbing her scent all over him and then graciously allowing him to snuggle up under Tony's arm. Tony rolls his eyes, but goes with it. He also catches Loki watching this from the corner of his eye before focusing back on his work.

It gets to the point where Tony keeps bowls for both animals around the penthouse. Loki and Balto seem to be subtly invading. When he notices this, he doesn't say a thing. The last thing he wants is to make him retreat. He is now almost to the point where he thinks he could call Loki a friend. They certainly spend enough time together. And he's still the only person talking to him. He can't lose that. Not now.

The one boundary that they haven't crossed yet is that Tony has yet to be in Loki's room. Tony gets it. He wants some space all to himself. He needs some space that is his and only his. Tony doesn't have that problem with the penthouse because, technically speaking, that isn't his safe space. It is his workshop. And he has never invited Loki in there before.

But that all changes one night when he wakes up from a horrifying nightmare. He had actually managed to make it to his bed that night, but now awake and panicking, he flees from it as fast as he can. The sheets trip him and he falls down on his face, but he doesn't care. He barely knows where he is right now, let alone able separate the pain from the floor from the pain in his head. It is a jumble of everything – Obie, Afghanistan, the team, flying the nuke into space, Howard, the deafening silence, the all consuming coldness that has always followed him his entire life.

He flees, brain offline and feet on auto pilot. All he knows is that he needs to get somewhere safe. He is in the elevator in a flash, croaking an order for JARVIS and running out of the door when it opens. Blindly heading towards his destination he doesn't even register where exactly he is until he is in bed and clinging to the body in it.

"Stark?" Loki asks, voice rough from sleep. Beside him Balto whines.

Tony isn't really in any presence of mind to answer him. He grabs Loki's shirt and buries his face in it, breath still coming in short, harsh gasps. He whines when he feels Loki move.

But then he relaxes, placing a hand on Tony's back and rubbing it gently. "Easy Stark. Follow my breathing," he says.

It takes some time, but eventually Tony calms down enough to fall back to sleep.

When he wakes the next morning he almost has another panic attack before his mind catches up to him. Nightmare, right. He had a nightmare and ran out of the room. But why the hell did his hindbrain suddenly think that Loki was the person to run to, instead of the shop. The shop has always been safe. Why change that? Because it decided Tony shouldn't be alone? Because it knew Loki could bring him down from a panic attack? What?

"Stark," Loki greets casually as if he is use to people invading his bed.

Tony blushes, something he didn't think he was still capable of, and hums in response to avoid talking. He notices that one hand still has a death grip on his shirt and tries to convince it to let go. The other hand is flung out and currently wrapped around Balto. A purring lets him know Pumpkin has claimed a pillow. Alright, this is definitely a new level of embarrassing.

"I generally like some warning before my bed is invaded in the middle of the night. It is lucky that my wards recognized you or there would have been much more drastic results."

Tony grunts, but still doesn't talk.

"It is preferable that my bed mates, whoever they may be, join me before I am asleep. As such, please do not wait to join me next time," he says casually, as if it is no big deal.

"Wait what?" Tony asks, finally looking up from where he has his face on Loki's chest.

Loki sighs. "Despite how all of this began, I do not find you sexually attractive. But you are also the only tolerable person in this Tower and possibly in this city. If you wish to share a bed again – and not wait until panic has driven you here, I will not object."

Tony stares at Loki. "You don't mind?" he asks, shocked.

"Has your hearing malfunctioned as well?" he mocks.

Tony takes a moment to think about that. Share a bed with Loki? Hmmm. Well he is right in one regard, Tony finds him attractive, but more in an abstract sort of way. Maybe if things had gone differently, this would be different, but he isn't so sure. But sleeping with him would admit weakness. And Tony Stark is anything but weak. On the other hand, it hasn't escaped his attention that he sleeps best around Loki now. The nightmares don't always stay away, but they are still less severe.

Still the last thing he wants is to make Loki feel as if Tony is an obligation he has to fulfill. That is the fastest way to get someone to hate you. Just look at his parents. Howard decided fairly quickly that Tony was a 'sissy boy' and 'not worth the effort'. Mom had always been busy with her charities. She loved Tony, but sometimes it felt like he was just another item on her checklist. And didn't he already think just how much he needed Loki around right now? Maybe too much. No one likes a burden.

"I'm fine," he reassures, finally able to let go of his shirt, "Sorry," he says quickly, pushing himself up, "I know that had to be a shitty surprise and all. I'll get out of your way now. Next time just kick me out or whatever, it's fine. I know I have a bad habit of clinging sometimes, I've been told that before." Many times before. "No need to push yourself on my account." A hand stops him from leaving.

"Has it occurred to you that I would not offer if I did not mind."

Tony shakes his head and attempts to jerk from the grasp. It doesn't work. "Not minding and actually liking are two different things," he says as he tries to leave again. The hand tightens.

"Who said that it cannot be both?" Loki asks.

Tony looks back down at him, but Loki is avoiding his gaze. Beside him, Balto barks as if saying what his owner will not – could not. Slowly he relaxes which is when he notices that tension release from Loki as well. Oh if that is how it is, "Aw Lo-Lo, if you wanted me that badly, all you had to do is say so," he smiles sweetly.

Loki snorts,but returns his gaze. "Do not fool yourself Stark. I said I find you _tolerable_ , not likable."

"Love you too babe," Tony says, smiling even wider still.

"Foolish mortal," Loki complains.

"Snobbish god," Tony retorts before relaxing fully, back to using Loki as a pillow. Loki lets him. Yeah, he's definitely officially growing on him for sure.

And that is how they ended up sharing a bed. Again. Platonically this time.

If only all things were so easy to solve. When Tony finally stops avoiding Pepper and the inevitable conversation they will have to have, it is three days away from what would have been his and Rogers sixth month anniversary. Pepper, not knowing to avoid this particular landmine, asked what he was planning.

"You've only been compulsively organizing and reorganizing it for the last few months. So tell me," she leans forward, "what did you finally pick?"

Tony fiddles with a pen on his desk, not meeting her eyes. "Nothing," he says.

"What do you mean nothing. Tony what happen? You've been-"

"We broke up," Tony says quickly. Just like pulling off a band aid.

There is a long, terrible silence. "What do you mean you broke up? Did something happen between the two of you?"

In that moment Tony would have given Pepper the world for not asking what he did to fuck it up. A solid reminder on why he loves her, romantic attachment or no. He shakes his head. "We realized we had some... mutual differences that we weren't able to overcome and decided that it was best to part ways." There, that sounded mature enough. See, he is able to work through his petty emotions just fine.

Then Pepper ruins it by saying, "You mean Rogers decided there was something about you he didn't like and when you didn't change enough he dumped you," she says matter of factly.

"Pepper," Tony protests.

"I'm sorry Tony, but that last sentence that came out of your mouth sounded absolutely nothing like you. And when you start speaking like that it means someone was a jackass to you, but you don't want to admit it."

Tony blinks at her in shock for a moment. That is... wow. Yeah, it's true, he's not denying that. But that is also a very passionate response. This might end worse than he thought.

"JARVIS call Jim," she says in the silence.

"Of course Miss Potts," JARVIS, the traitor, answers from Tony's phone that is also sitting on the desk.

"No Jay," he says, but it is too late.

"What did you do now Tones?" Rhodey asks automatically as his face pops up. Then he takes a look at Tony and then Pepper and frowns. "Who are we going after?" he asks then.

"Rogers," Pepper answers sweetly.

"No one," Tony corrects, "Neither of you are going after any one, do you hear me? These things happen. Sometimes people don't work out like that. That's what you told me when we broke up," he points to Pepper, "You said that sometimes people are better off as friends. That some relationships aren't meant to last like this. We were stronger as friends."

"I did. I also said that I could not handle being the girlfriend of a superhero and I am not stupid enough to think that I did not hurt you, no matter how much you hid it. Nor did I give you some line about 'mutual differences'," she quotes, "I told you the exact reasons so you wouldn't drive yourself crazy wondering what you did wrong – nothing, by the way, in case you've forgotten that. So either Rogers gave you the 'sorry it's not you, it's me, but really it's you' or he told you exactly why and you're protecting him."

"Definitely protecting him," Rhodey says, "He has that look on his face. He knows full well the problem and it was enough to make him... alright, I'm coming back. This isn't just heartbreak, you're mad as hell Tones," he announces. "Time to punch Captain America in the face."

"You'll break your hand," Tony says reflexively. Because it's true. He's seen villains get mad and punch Rogers, only to add a broken hand to their troubles. Then the words really register. "What? No! Honey bear, you cannot punch Rogers in the face," he protests.

"Rogers," Pepper repeats darkly.

"Not if I use the suit I won't," Rhodey says determinedly.

Tony shakes his head. "No," he continues to protest, "Look, I know you both have mother dragon syndrome, but it's fine. It's all fine. Yeah, not thrilled about it, but I'll get over it. I'm getting over it now."

"Tones, you once broke your leg in three places and insisted you didn't need to go to the hospital. I stopped believing you when you said fine when you were sixteen."

"That long?" Pepper asks, sounding skeptical, "And just how long has it been since you claim you're moving on?"

He shrugs.

"Tony," Pepper warns.

"A month," Tony answers in defeat.

"A month!" Rhodey shouts, "You mean I should have punched that bastard a month ago already? He's going to think he's gotten away with it. I warned him about this when the two of you started dating."

"So did I," Pepper adds.

Tony groans, "Please tell me you didn't give him a shovel talk," he begs, knowing it is useless.

"Of course we did," Rhodey confirms, "What, did you honestly think we didn't?" he raises an eyebrow in disbelief.

"I had hoped. Rogers never said anything about it so I – stupidly, obviously – assumed that the two of you trusted my choice this time and left it be."

"Oh Tony," Pepper reaches over and takes his hand, "It's not you we don't trust, it's everyone else."

"If I gave a talk to Tiberius Stone and Sunset Bain, I was certainly going to give one to Steve Rogers, living legend or no," Rhodey says firmly.

Tony lets out a laugh at that. Yeah, he knows about those two. In vivid detail. Neither of them were particularly happy about it, which looking back, might have been the first warning sign. It actually speaks well of Rogers that he never said anything. If only that was the only problem. He sighs.

Pepper squeezes his hand. "How are you doing with this? And don't say fine," she warns, "Are the others helping you through this?"

Tony hesitates and then figures he has to give them _something_ or they are going to get suspicious. "Would you believe Loki is helping?" he asks, somewhat sheepishly. His two friends look taken aback for a moment.

But then Pepper sighs that exasperated, yet fond sigh and says, "Tony."

"Explain," is all Rhodey says.

Tony shrugs. "Turns out he's not as much as an asshole as we all thought. Or, he's an asshole, but so am I so it works out alright once you get past all the," he waves his free hand vaguely. "I mean, we've mainly been watching movies, but I'm working up to the point where I ask him about magic because I'm kind of dying to know. There's clearly a science to it and Thor says that magic is just really advance science and Jane totally backs that up and-"

"Tony," Rhodey interrupts, smiling, "Focus. Science later, explanation now."

"That's really it," he says, leaving out the whole bed sharing thing and the sex pollen thing that started it. Actually, he hasn't thought about the sex pollen in a couple of days now. He's definitely getting better about dealing with that. Still feels dirty and used from time to time, but it's healing. Finally. "Thor's been gone, what, a month now? Someone has to watch his back in the field and I am the only one willing to do it. We went from there."

"As long as he's treating you right," Rhodey says.

Tony makes a face. "Trust me platypus, it's not like that. We've friend zoned each other already. Plus he got me a pet," he adds.

"If you're sure," Rhodey says.

"A pet?" Pepper asks.

"You remember that battle a few weeks ago with the animals?" Tony grins, which should have been their first warning.

Pepper asks, obviously recognizing just that,"The one the cryptozoologists are still going on about?"

Tony nods. "JARVIS pull up a picture of Pumpkin." A picture appears long side Rhodey's floating face. "Ta da!" he waves a hand grandly towards it, "Pumpkin," he says proudly. Because he still has no shame. Not for his sweet little cataffe anyways.

"Tony," Pepper groans again.

Rhodey just laughs, "Pumpkin? Really Tones, that's the best you could do? At least it isn't Tony Jr or something. What the hell is that thing anyways?"

"Don't insult her. She's my little precious and she's goddamn adorable, you're just jealous. And she's a cataffe. Loki named her, mainly because I named his wolfbee Balto."

"I'm afraid to ask," Rhodey mutters.

JARVIS pulls up a picture of Balto without prompt. "Wolfbee, a wolf and a bee. Just like Pumpkin is a cat and giraffe."

There is a long, drawn out silence before Rhodey asks, "What was this kid on? Because whatever it is, I want some."

Tony laughs. "You and me both."

"They are kind of cute," Pepper admits as she stares, "in a creepy sort of way."

"You couldn't have gotten a normal pet?" Rhodey asks.

"What do you take me for? Of course not. Besides, look at her? How could I give her up to SHIELD? Who knows what they would do to that cute, innocent face? Bad enough that they got the liozard. I would have taken it too, if I could have. The sweet thing just wanted to play."

The other two laugh. "It wanted to play alright. The video of Rogers trying to get back his shield went viral within ten minutes," Rhodey says through his laughter.

"Maybe he knew that he deserved it," Pepper adds.

"He deserves a lot more," Rhodey says, frown back in place.

"Not again. I am serious, you cannot punch everyone who breaks up with me." Tony says, covering his face with his hands.

"Of course not, only the assholes. I didn't punch Pepper, did I?"

"I would hope not. Wait, does this mean you punched Sunset too?"

"No question about Ty?"

"Oh I know you punched Ty, there's no question about that. But that doesn't answer my question."

"No I didn't punch Sunset," Rhodey answers.

Tony sighs in relief. Not because he thinks she didn't deserve it, but it is the principle of the matter.

"I let Pepper ruin her instead."

Pepper smiles sweetly.

Tony gives up and bangs his head against the desk. Mother dragons. That's what his friends are. Mother dragons. Not mother hens, because that is too tame for them. Vicious things they are. "People need Captain America," he mutters into the desk.

"Of course they do," Pepper agrees, "That doesn't mean that Rogers can't retire if something... unfortunate happens. Jim, how do you feel about a new title?"

"Well I am already Iron Patriot. It wouldn't be too big of a jump."

"War Machine. It is _War Machine_ , not Iron Patriot," Tony scowls.

Rhodey shrugs. "That's not what my CO says."

"That's what your password says."

"Well-"

"Children please," Pepper cuts them off before they can start.

"Yes Mother," they both say at the same time.

Pepper rolls her eyes at them, but there is a smile dancing on her lips. "Alright Tony, we'll drop it."

"Thank you," Tony says, relieved.

" _For now_ ," she stresses, "But if we ever find out exactly what Rogers said then all bets are off."

Tony huffs. "If that's the best I'm going to get."

"It is," Rhodey reassures him.

"Fine then." He just has to ensure that they _never_ find out. Ever. If he thought this was bad, that will be ten times worse. They may have to scrape them off the floor. What pieces are left of them. They're both efficient like that. And vicious. Has he mentioned vicious already?

He leaves that day feeling as if he was saved by the skin of his teeth.

Then, because the universe obviously hates him, they are called out to battle three days later. The exact day Tony was planning on getting shit faced drunk and having that Harry Potter marathon with Loki that he promised he would have. Sounded like a good plan.

Instead he has to battle Doom Bots. _Doom Bots_ of all things. He hates them almost as much as he hates Hammer. Not as much as Hammer though, because pretty much nothing can top his hatred of Hammer. He really, truly _hates_ incompetence. Really he does. Never mind that he tried to kill Tony, look at the beautiful, beautiful engineering he destroyed to try and do it. Horrible. Nightmare worthy. Ugh.

And of course these Doom Bots have had an upgrade, so they are harder to kill than usual. Today is not the day he wants a challenge. Today he wants to take a page out o the Big Guy's book and smash to his heart's content.

But can he? Of course not because fucking Doom thought to be creative today. Really, if you can't count on your villains, who can you count on?

Loki snorts when he says this to him. Tony has created a private channel, just for the two of them. "Really Stark, _I_ was once one of your villains."

"And look how well it turned out. You still up for that marathon after this? Because I plan on drinking no matter what time we get done, so the door is open." Tony shoots another bot and watches as it does nothing at all. Damn. "See if you can find a weak spot will you? JARVIS says there isn't one, but there has to be. There's no way Doom finally managed to build these things without one."

"I am insulted Sir," JARVIS says.

"Sorry Jay, you know you're still the light of my life," he says.

"I shall look," Loki reassures, then, "I find these an annoyance as well. And I truly cannot wait for your drunken ramblings on the authenticity of this universe," he replies dryly.

"Fuck Latin," Tony complains as he flips upside down to dodge a laser beam, "Seriously, just fuck the Latin. It's enough to drive you crazy. Your All Speech is going to hate it."

"I have read the series remember? It already does." Loki manages to take a bot down by the effective way of tearing its head off.

Well that works too. "Great, then you can join me in drinking. Might help the process."

"I doubt anything you have will be strong enough."

"Never say never," Tony says before he gets frustrated and kicks a bot in the face. His foot goes right through. That works too, he guesses. He switches over to the main comm line, "Anyone else find a way to stop them that doesn't include decapitation?" he asks. It's worth a shot anyways. No answer. Tony snorts and goes back to their private line.

"They are beneath you," Loki says as he rips off another head.

"I thought we were all beneath you," he teases as he begins copying him. Why not? It's not smashing, or anything terribly elegant, but it is just as satisfying.

Loki summons what appears to be a sword out of his magic and begins slicing through the ranks very effectively. "No, everyone else on this wretched planet is beneath me. You are a Prince among ants."

"Flattery will get you everywhere." Tony really wishes that Loki could see him wink. Imagining it just isn't the same. He manages to blast this one's head off and that is when everything goes wrong. There must be some kind of signal because once that one is down, all the remaining ones turn their attention towards Tony. As one they converge on him. "Shit," Tony yelps and takes to the sky.

They follow, some flying, some jumping, some climbing on top of others, some just reaching up with extended arms. There is a swarm of them, like a nest of bees that has been disturbed.

"Jay, can you find the signal to this and shut it down? They are going to bury me if you don't."

"Right away Sir. Might I suggest dodging as well. Unfortunately Dr Doom has picked this day to know what he is doing."

Tony sighs as he obeys. "Of course he has." So much for a relaxing day of drinking and forgetting.

Loki sets to work immediately, blasting some away, decapitating others, simply trying to eliminate the sheer number descending upon them. He is doing well, but it barely looks as if he is making any progress, compared to the sheer number of them. It's almost as if they are multiplying. Or there were more of them waiting in the wings for just this.

"A little help here," he calls over the comms. There's no answer again, but they can't abandon him can they? If anything they have to follow the bots here. They can't let them roam free, no matter what they think of Tony personally. They'll go where the bots go. And where the bots are is surrounding Tony.

He quickly sees he is right. The rest of the team is there, but they are fighting along the edges. He's not sure if they aren't making much of an effort to get to him or they just aren't able. He's kind of afraid to ask.

A bot grabs his foot and Tony swears, shaking it off. He tries to go higher, but another one catches hold and drags him down. Others soon latch on. "Um, help!" he cries, "I know you hate me, but could you maybe put that aside right now so that I don't end up _dead_!"

"Hold on Stark," Loki says, "I am joining you." With that he proves that the title Sky Traveler is a real thing, stepping up into the air as if it were steps. He grabs hold of Tony's arm and pulls him loose.

"Thanks Lo-Lo," he says gratefully as he attempts to destroy the bots via shoulder missiles. "Jay, what's the damage?" he asks because he knows there's some. He can feel it even as he hovers here. Something is off.

"I am afraid the thrusters have been damaged as well as the integrity from the waist down. The suit cannot hold up to another attack like that."

"Great," Tony sighs as he kicks a bot in the head. "Don't let them get me," he tells Loki. "One more hit and the suit isn't going to be able to fly anymore."

Loki frowns, but obeys, carefully guarding Tony from reaching hands.

Tony does what he can, hating every second of this. He is _not_ a damsel in distress thank you very much. "Any luck with that signal?"

"Not as of yet, but I believe I am close," JARVIS reassures, "Hold on Sir."

Hold on. Super. "Awesome," he mutters. A glance tells him the team is making progress towards him. Maybe they don't want him dead after all. Or maybe they just don't want to lose their free housing and toys, a more cynical part of him adds. He hates that he's probably right.

But then the bots show once again that they are smart and attack both Loki and Tony at the same time. Loki fends them off, for the most part, but that means he is not completely focused on Tony. It is enough. There are too many of them. Tony is pulled down so that all he can see is silver. Great. "Fuckers, let me go," he yells as he begins to shoot aimlessly. At this point it doesn't matter. He is going to hit something. "Jay, Loki, anyone" he calls.

A roar answers him.

Tony could cry. That is the sweetest sound he has ever heard. The Big Guy rips through the crowd and grabs Tony by the scruff of his neck. The move is comparable to a mother picking up her kitten, but Tony will allow it if it gets him out of there. "Tin man in trouble. Tin man stay here," he places Tony on his shoulders and lets out another roar.

Tony lets out a cry of excitement when they move, Hulk ripping through the ranks like wet paper bags. Alright, so Doom planned for almost everything – except for the Hulk. Guess he wasn't that smart today after all.

After that the battle takes no time at all, with the team on the edges and Loki and the Big Guy in the middle, Tony helping as he can. JARVIS finally finds the signal and is able to shut them all down. It is ended in minutes.

"Thanks Big Guy," he says as he pats the top of Hulk's head, "That was some good smashing there."

Hulk grunts. "Puny Banner weak. Hulk know Tin Man friend. Hulk protect Tin Man," he gives the team the stink eye. Then he turns to Loki, "Puny god good. Puny god protect Tin Man."

"Yes well who else am I going to have an intelligent conversation with?" Loki mutters, looking ever so slightly wary.

"Puny god like Tin Man. Puny god did good."

"You as well," Loki nods.

"Time to go to sleep now," Romanoff says.

Hulk snorts. "No go. Protect Tin Man."

"But the battle is over," Barton says stupidly.

That gets another glare. "From you," Hulk says as if Barton is an idiot. Which he is for arguing with the Big Guy. He's lucky he isn't getting smashed right now. They all are.

"Hey, it's alright," Tony cuts in before they can make things worse, "I'll be alright. I have my puny god here, remember?"

Loki gives him a dark look, but doesn't protest. Not only would it defeat the purpose of what Tony is doing, it is also true. Loki just doesn't like to admit it. Not to others anyways. He's still trying to get Loki to call him Tony instead of Stark.

Hulk takes him off his shoulders and gives him a Look.

Tony flips his face mask so that he can smile. "Really. If I need you I can always call you," he lies. He wouldn't do that to Banner. That seems like a douche move, even for him.

That gets another grunt. And a skeptical look "Puny Banner still coward."

Well Tony isn't going to argue with that.

"Hulk watching you," he glares one more time at them before shrinking.

Tony steps away and towards Loki. That gets narrowed eyes from the team, but he is beyond caring at this point.

The debriefing that follows is short and to the point. As in, "What is wrong with you motherfuckers today?" Fury demands more than asks, "Did Stark accidentally kick your puppy or what? You are a team, you act like a team. Do you understand me?"

"Maybe you should tell that to Stark. He's the one fucking the enemy," Barton mutters.

Tony flips him the bird because it both makes him feel better and appeals to that section of his brain that likes to make bad jokes.

Fury sighs. "Fine then. I can see we aren't going to get anywhere today. Go home. I want those reports by tomorrow. Stark, my office, _now_."

"Someone's in trouble," Barton sings under his breath as he leaves the room.

Loki nods to him. He knows that he'll be waiting for him when he's done.

He marches to the office, feet clanking as he walks. And maybe he's walking with a little more force than necessary, but no one needs to know that. Fury walks ahead of him, trench coat flapping dramatically. He wonders if he got that off of Harry Potter or if Rowling was thinking of Fury when she wrote Snape's robe. Food for thought.

Fury sighs again as he sits down in his chair behind his desk. "Alright Stark, what is going on? The team is suddenly convinced you are the Devil himself and it obviously involves Loki if Barton's little quip is anything to go by."

Tony crosses his arms. "Why should I tell you anything? So you can roll your eyes and blame me too?"

"I take it that is what the team did," Fury says neutrally.

"Well it was less eye rolling and more acting as if I no longer exist, but you get the picture," he says casually, as if it doesn't matter.

Fury mutters something under his breath that Tony can't catch. "Let's have it then. I've seen pretty much everything by now, it can't be _that_ impressive."

Tony stares at Fury, assessing him. Then, in that same casual voice he asks, "How do you feel about sex pollen?"

"Motherfucker," is Fury's answer, "Do you people purposefully pick things out of bad sci fi movies to battle or is it just your charming personality?"

"You mean you believe me?"

"You mean the idiots on the team _didn't_? No of course they didn't," Fury answers himself, "They would never be acting this way if they did. The only other person affected was Loki then?" Fury scowls at the mere mention of him.

Tony nods cautiously. Part of him still thinks this is a trap. That Fury is going to get all of the information he can and then use it against Tony. "We were fighting together since Thor is off planet." Still. Tony would really like to know what is taking so long. It's been a little over a month now. He knows time is suppose to act differently in Oz, but come on. "When we got back to the Tower the effect set in before either of us could shower."

"You went for each other?" Fury asks, still neutral.

Tony grimaces. "We were the only two in the elevator at the time. Who knows what would have happened if we weren't," he shrugs, "I would have been more likely to go for Rogers – or anyone else – than Loki."

"You and your luck Stark. There's nothing like it. So assumedly the two of you went at it like rabbits for some time, one or all of the team saw and then refused to believe you when you told them what happened. Right?"

Tony nods tensely.

"Motherfuckers," Fury sighs again. "The suit should have protected you from it. Any ideas as to how you were exposed?"

"Three," Tony answers and it's a relief to finally be able to tell someone. Obviously the team thought the same thing Fury did, but instead of asking if it was possible, they just assumed it wasn't. Or that there was no pollen at all. He holds up a finger. "The first, and least likely, is that it seeped through my suit onto my skin. Unlikely because while it wasn't fast acting, it was still fast enough to hit once we got back to the Tower and not later that night. Two," he raises another finger, "I was exposed to it while the suit was removed. More probable, but that still calls into question the reaction time. That would have meant that it would act quickly for me and slower for Loki. Possible with the differences in our biology, but I don't have enough pollen to test it. And then third," he holds up a final finger, "the air filtration in the suit had a leak. Totally possible and totally likely. The suit was thrashed after we battled those daisies. I likely breathed it in when we were sprayed, same as Loki."

Fury nods and looks thoughtful. "Alright Stark, you're dismissed," he says.

"That's all?" Tony asks in surprise.

"Would you like a gold star? No? Then yes that's all. Unless you want to give me any notes you are sure to have on the incident, then get out of my sight," he orders.

Tony salutes and does so. He finds Loki lurking a few corridors away. There's no proof that he heard the conversation, but Tony wouldn't put it past him either. "Ready to rock and roll?" he asks.

"I am afraid that you will have to bear with me if you want to arrive home quickly. The others have already left with the quinjet and your suit is not able to fly _you_ back, let alone both of us."

"You mean I get to see your _magic_?" Tony asks excitedly, "What are we waiting for? Home Jeeves."

"Do not push your luck Stark," Loki says as he wraps an arm around him. "Hold on."

They are back at the penthouse in a blink of an eye. "That was so cool!" Tony says, "How does that work? Are you moving from one place to another through some kind of doorway? Or are you able to break down our bodies to allow them to travel through the air and then reassemble? Sounds complicated. Oh, how about stepping from one plain of existence to another and back again?"

Loki blinks at the barge of words Tony throws at him. "You wish to know about my magic?" he asks, sounding vaguely surprised.

Tony snorts. "Is the sky blue from Earth? Of course I want to know about your magic. What do you take me for?"

"On Asgard it is considered... feminine to wish to learn magic, especially if one is male."

"Fuck that," Tony says, "and fuck Asgard too. Have I ever told you that? No? Well then _fuck Asgard_ ," he says with feeling. "I am a goddamn scientist. You try and keep me from my science and I will tear you limb from limb. Now magic?" he asks hopefully.

"Did you not wish to drink today?" Loki asks.

"Nah, this is way more interesting. Unless you don't want to talk about it?" Oops. He needs to learn to ask when it comes to science. He tends to forget that part.

But Loki shakes his head. "No it is fine. Now, you were not wrong when you asked of doorways. There are-"

Together the two of them sit on the couch, pets on their laps, as they talk for the rest of the day. Still not what Tony was planning on, but it ended pretty well all the same.

:::

Tony misses it when Thor returns – finally. Or at least he misses the initial 'Hey welcome back buddy, almost forgot what your face looked like' bit. He is too busy sleeping. He and Loki had been up the past three days talking about science and magic and the rules of physics as they are applied to different Realms and, yeah. A lot of nerdy stuff that kept them up. Tony because he was too excited about sciencing. Loki, presumably, the same.

And if Tony has an ulterior motive of putting off the nightmares just a little bit longer, well. That's no one's business but his own. Too bad Loki's presence doesn't take the nightmares away completely. He did at first, but Tony suspects that was because his body was so exhausted that he was too tired for nightmares. Now, while they are less violent, they are still present.

He hates waking Loki up and tries not to, but that never seems to work. Loki is a light sleeper. And if Tony suspects that Tony's nightmares sometimes wake Loki from his own? He certainly isn't going to ask. He likes his head attached to his body, thank you very much.

But Tony does know when Thor returns to his room. Mainly because he wakes Tony up, barging in while saying, "Brother I'm back!"

The one thing Tony didn't think of – Loki doesn't have his own suite. His room is what use to be a guest room in Thor's. The idea being Thor could keep an easier eye on Loki. As if he didn't have JARVIS for that. No offense to Thor, but Tony trusts his AI more than the god. Sometimes it's just a little too easy to trick him. Still he hadn't said anything about it then. Now he wished he had.

"Oh good, now the world can begin spinning again," Loki mutters. It sounds as if his face is still buried in his pillow.

Well Tony certainly isn't moving from _his_ pillow – Loki's chest that is. He is beyond caring at this point. He grunts, but doesn't say anything, still mostly asleep.

"Anthony," Thor starts.

"Tony," he corrects with a slight whine. He is trying to sleep.

"Tony," he repeats, "what are you doing in bed with my brother?"

"Sleeping." Or trying to at any rate. He swears that if Thor wakes him up to the point that he cannot go back to sleep, heads are going to roll. He has enough trouble as it is without other people adding to it.

"Yes, but _why_ are you sleeping with him?" Thor asks, confused.

"Was sciening. Now sleeping. Leave."

From his place beside them, Balto growls. Pumpkin joins in from her spot on Tony's back, hissing.

"What is that?" Thor asks, startled.

"Balto. Pumpkin. Go," Tony answers.

"You heard the man brother," Loki adds, sounding far too coherent for all his face is definitely still buried in his pillow. Hey, maybe Tony has now found the source of Loki's sleeping habit. Pure self defense. "Leave."

"But brother," Thor protests.

One of Loki's arms is gone from Tony's back and then there is a thud against the wall.

"There is no need to get violent," Thor protests, "I was simply wondering when the two of you became so close."

Another thud.

"Really brat, will you stop that? It brings me great joy to see you are finally getting along with my Shield Brothers here."

Alright, enough of this. Tony is not listening to Thor's speech about the power of love and friendship and all that crap. Especially not when the team could happily jump off a cliff at this point. Especially not when he is _trying to sleep_. He blindly pats the covers until he finds a wrench and throws it over his shoulder. "Go 'way," he moans.

"I see you have been teaching him your bad habits as well."

Tony finds a screwdriver. Really he has no idea how these tools even ended up in Loki's bed. It's not as if he has been building anything in here. But it's a sure sign that he has been spending too much time here. The same thing happens in his own bed too. He thinks the tools follow him in when he's not looking.

"Fine, I am able to get the hint," Thor says.

They hear the door close and footsteps recede.

"That would be a first," Loki mutters.

Tony snorts a laugh and then shifts again to snuggle closer. He is serious about his threat if he is up for good. Sleep is not something he takes for granted, even if other people assume he does. Not his problem. Fortunately that doesn't seem to be a problem now. He falls back asleep easily listening to Pumpkin's purr and Loki's steady breathing.

The next time Tony wakes up, it is to the glorious smell of coffee and cinnamon. Tony's stomach grumbles in response. "Hmmm," he hums.

"Thor is trying to bribe us," Loki says in response.

"How much would you hate me if I say it is working?"

"Do not let him know that, he will be insufferable if you do."

"So the kitchen isn't going to explode?" This is a bigger concern than he likes to think about. Of course all of the suites have their own kitchen. Not as big as the one on the common floor, but it is there. Everyone just seems to use that one automatically, instead of their own. Maybe it's the company.

But Thor had been banned after the third disaster forced Tony to remodel. Thor in the kitchen is not a reassuring thought.

"He can cook. He simply saves his experiments for somewhere not our own."

"Asshole," Tony mutters crossly as he gets up and stretches. He groans when he feels his back pop. Damn does he feel old at times like this.

He only feels slightly better when Loki's back does the same.

Tony stumbles into the kitchen and heads straight for the coffee. Thor is at the stove, making a mountain of french toast. It really does smell amazing. Tony cannot wait to have some. Although he might have to be quick about it. While it is a mountain of food, there are soon to be two hungry gods in the room.

Pumpkin is watching him steadily from her spot on the refrigerator. It seems she hasn't decided if she likes this strange new person or not. Tony gives it half a day before she is rolling at his feet, begging for attention. She's spoiled like that.

"You are a lying liar who lies," Tony tells him, "and if you do not give me some of that than I am stealing Mjolnir. You won't be getting her back."

Thor looks more amused then worried as he hands Tony a plate. He sits down at the table and promptly drowns it in syrup. Yummy.

"I am still the only one who can lift her," Thor says.

Tony shrugs. "This seems like a worthy enough cause to me. I'm sure we can work something out," he says as he takes another bite. Holy shit these are amazing. And to think he has the team convinced he can only make pop-tarts. Asshole.

"Attempting to soften us up already," Loki says as he walks into the kitchen, still in his pajamas, although his hair is – mostly – neat now. More like he ran fingers through his hair and then was done with it. Turns out Loki has a serious case of bedhead when he first wakes up. It's kind of adorable actually. Balto trails behind him, still wary of Thor.

Like owner, like pet.

Tony takes a moment to appreciate that his hair is the _only_ thing Loki fixed before coming here. He made no other attempt to look put together, which says more than his words ever will about how comfortable he feels around Thor. Some habits are stronger than some issues apparently.

Said pajamas are a pair of baggy plaid green pants and an oversize sweatshirt of Phantom of the Opera. Tony's not sure where he even got that from or if he even knows what it's about. Yes, the would be ruler of the world, one of the top mages of all the nine Realms, wanders around in too big clothes and messy hair, both because he can't be bothered to change and because it is comfortable. Ah the things that make us all human – technically speaking that is.

Loki takes his own plate and joins Tony at the table. He uses just as much syrup as Tony does, if not more, before he begins eating. Because apparently both of them have a major sweet tooth. Who knew?

"That depends," Thor answers as he sits down himself, "is it working?"

Loki glares at him. So yes, but he is never going to admit it.

Thor just smiles.

Tony takes more toast off of the extra platter Thor set down before it all disappears. Loki is already finished with his first helping and Thor isn't far behind.

"I have had the most fascinating conversation with our team while you were sleeping," Thor starts.

Tony groans and then gets up to have more coffee. He is going to need fortification for this conversation. He can't imagine it going well. While he would like to think that Thor will be open minded about this, well. He thought the team would believe him too. He doesn't exactly have a good track record going.

"And I am sure the conversation improved oh so much after you mentioned just what you saw," Loki says, pointing his fork at Thor.

Thor raises his hands in surrender and says quickly, "All I inquired was when the two of you began to tolerate each other. That is all," as if he is afraid Loki is going to stab him with the fork.

Personally Tony finds that a reasonable worried. He has noticed that Loki has a certain... affinity towards stabbing things. Or throwing things – preferably knives. He's a very sharp person after all. Ha!

Loki snorts as if he does not believe him, "Well then, what stories have they been telling you, oh brother mine?" he sneers the title, as if it is an insult.

"That you have corrupted Anthony-"

"Tony," he corrects and why can Thor never get that right?

"Tony. That he has gone over to 'the Dark Side'," he quotes, "and that he is no longer to be trusted. When I reminded them that we are in fact family, no matter how much you deny it, they expressed their displeasure and insisted I do something about you."

Tony snorts. Frankly he is shocked that they are laying so much of the blame on Loki when it is Tony they have been treating like shit. Or maybe they are dressing it up pretty for Thor and don't want to admit that – according to them – both of them are to blame.

"I see. So I am the traitor now instead of Stark. Interesting."

Thor sighs. "I told them I would do what I could. So what mischief have you done now Loki?"

Loki laughs, a bit bitterly, "Oh no Thor, it is not I that is the problem. Once I believed that I could not find anyone more foolish than the Warriors Three, with you at their head, but I have been proven wrong. As it turns out, our races aren't so different after all. Both are blind, ignorant fools." Anger and resentment drip from his voice.

Tony kicks him lightly under the table to offer his support. Balto whines and lays his head on Loki's thigh. Loki absentmindedly reaches down to pet him.

Thor looks sheepish and turns to Tony.

Tony opens his mouth and then finds out he really doesn't want to say it. Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair. Damn does he _really_ not want to say it.

"Shall I tell him instead?" Loki asks.

Tony almost says yes. Yes because he doesn't want to be the one to have another teammate turn on him. Yes because he does not want to see the doubt and the disgust and the distrust appear on Thor's face. But then he realizes what a bad idea that is and shakes his head. "We had a slight run in with some sex pollen. The team didn't exactly take the results well."

Loki snorts and mutters something about stupidity under his breath.

"I do not understand," Thor says slowly, "Did you not end up with Steven? How can they blame you for something you had no control over?"

"Because they do not believe in sex pollen," Loki answers.

"What?" Thor turns to Loki in shock, "What do you mean they do not believe?"

"Just as I said. The people who battle aliens, who live among the impossible, do not believe in sex pollen, as Midgardians call it. We had a run in with the Sporfins and both Stark and I were infected, but we were the only ones. Circumstances brought us together and the results are obviously no mystery. When Stark attempted to explain, they refused to believe him and thought that he went with me willingly. Fools," he adds with a curl of his lip.

Thor looks stunned, as if he cannot believe what he is hearing.

Tony just shrugs and nods when he turns to look at him, "Pretty much yeah."

"They have decided that Stark is no better than I and is to be treated as such," Loki continues, "The only mortal worth anything on this forsaken planet and they shun him for their ignorance."

Tony blinks at that. Um, _wow_. He knew Loki had opinions about this, but he didn't know they were so strong. Or that he thought so highly of Tony. Yeah, they are to the point where Tony can safely assume they are friends, probably, but this? This is definitely more than he had been expecting.

Thor frowns, clearly unhappy with this. "I do not understand why they would assume such. Yes I am aware of their feelings of you, but Tony is their friend. Their Shield Brother. How can they not value his word on this?"

"Maybe because I never was one of them," Tony says bitterly, voicing his opinion for the first time, "You don't keep the stray around after it isn't cute anymore, do you?" He would say 'the tool that no longer works', but clearly that isn't the case. They still have a use for him, if it is only his resources and brain. They are still here after all. Pumpkin abandons her perch to jump in Tony's lap. She bumps at his hand until he pets her. He can't help the fond smile that forms. Demanding little thing.

Thor makes an oddly wounded noise and Tony looks up at him, narrowing his eyes. He's staring at Tony. It's not a bad look or a blank one, but it's definitely odd. Loki is cackling for some odd reason, which just makes him even more suspicious. "What?" he asks defensively.

"What type of creature are you petting?" he asks, sounding as if that is the last thing he was actually thinking about. The feeling isn't helped by Loki's continued laughter.

"Shut up brat," Thor grumbles.

"Whatever you say brother dear," he answers, looking far too pleased with himself.

Tony doesn't want to know. "Pumpkin. She's a cataffe."

"I... did not believe Midgard had such animals."

"Oh they don't. I've adopted her after a battle. Some kid did some gene experiments and she is one of his results. Same with Balto – a wolfbee."

Thor doesn't look any less confused by this. "And why do you have them now?"

"Because I asked Loki to steal her obviously, so of course he stole his own."

"Aw," Thor nods, as if that was the only information he really needed. It just might have been. It is easy to imagine that 'Loki' is the only explanation needed for several instants in Thor's past. Likely most of his childhood. Then again, Tony imagines Loki explains many stories simply by saying 'Thor' and everyone around him nodding knowingly.

He takes another bite so that neither of them see his smile. And because it is delicious. Seriously, he is going to demand this whenever he is in a shitty mood from now on. And when he isn't in a shitty mood, but it still sounds good anyways. Awesome. He had lost his appetite there briefly, but now it is back with vengeance. It's also a small miracle there is any left so he is taking advantage of that.

"Might I read the report on the mission? I would like to have a better picture of what happened. And just how the Sporfins were able to travel here to begin with."

Tony nods. "I don't know about the last bit, but I'll send my file on it to your tablet. Which I assume you can _actually_ work, just like you can _actually_ cook without destroying the kitchen," he says pointedly.

Thor smiles sheepishly again. "Yes Tony," he says.

Tony snorts. "You are such a troll. I knew it. I totally knew it. No one would believe me, but I knew. Take that!"

"I am Aesir, not a troll," Thor protests.

Tony just gives him a Look because now that he has proof, he is never going to buy that act again. Really the only difference between the two brothers is that Loki is obviously a little shit and Thor is a secret one. Makes sense.

"Indeed," he continues as if Tony has said something," I am a Prince. I have been taught my genealogy, back for generations and millennia at a time. No troll blood. Some other mixed in here and there, but not enough to make me anything but Aesir." He smiles brightly.

Tony returns that bright smile and cheerfully gives Thor the finger. "Thanks buddy," he says.

Loki is laughing again for some reason that Tony isn't going to ask. He's learned that sometimes it's better that way.

After breakfast Loki leaves, clearly fleeing from Thor. With no reason to hang around, Tony goes to the workshop to get some work done. Before he starts though, he has to take a moment to take in the fact the Thor believes him. Thor let him explain and then believed his explanation. Wow. It's a heady feeling after dealing with the exact opposite for so long. Then he shakes his head. No need to dwell on it. It's over and done and all he can do is move on.

Rhodey once told him, when they were both drunk off their asses, that Tony runs on spite and caffeine. Tony has never argued that point. It's pretty true, so denying it wouldn't work anyways. Not with the people that know him well enough. Then again, insisting he's fine all the time doesn't work either, but he still does it.

The next week is interesting for Tony. The team is still the same, but now he has two people on his side and they are both gods. Talk about a heady feeling. Thor shuns them just as they shun Tony and Loki. The only difference is that they don't seem to get the hint. And when Thor tells them off bluntly and harshly, they take it with far less grace. Amateurs.

He spends time with Loki and Tony instead. It's an entertaining disaster to be honest. The two bicker and poke each other constantly and Loki's knives make more than one appearance. At this point Tony wonders where he keeps getting them. He seems to have an endless supply. He takes to hiding in the shop to get away from them, which makes him cranky. He wants to talk magic with Loki. He wants to relax with Thor. But he can do neither because the other one always seems to ruin it.

"Enough!" he finally shouts one day, "I know you two bicker like air, but will you leave me out of it."

Thor looks like a kicked puppy. Loki looks unapologetic, which is to be expected, but he does nod.

"I just wanted to spend time with my two favorite people," Thor says as if it isn't completely obvious what he is doing.

Tony glares. "Nice try. Pull the other one."

"I do," Thor protests, sounding much more sincere this time.

Still. "And you can't find a better way to do it?"

"He never was one to plan," Loki answers haughtily, but with a smile dancing along the edge of his lips.

"Loki will hog you if I don't," he grumbles, glaring.

Tony sighs. He feels like a chew toy that both puppies want to play with. "Do I need to make a schedule?" he asks, feeling ridiculous about it, but he will follow through if he needs to. Anything to stop this. It's giving him headaches. It's not so much the sibling rivalry, it's the way they are doing it that is driving him nuts.

Loki snorts. "As if that would stop me."

Which, point. "Why are you so intent on this anyways? And since when am I included in your favorite people list?" he asks Thor.

"I want to show my support for my Shield Brother. Is that so strange?"

Yes. Yes it is. No one on the team had ever gone out of their way to support him before, even when he was clearly stressed with the Company and Avenging and life. It just wasn't done. "That doesn't answer everything," Tony reminds him.

"Since he watched a particular file," Loki says, smirking now and _oh_. _That's_ what that random laughter has been about.

"Loki," Thor growls.

"No, you are right," he continues, "We would not want Stark thinking you wanted him just for his body. It began-" he stops there, but only because Thor has tackled him, shoving a pillow over his face. That starts another fight between the two.

Tony stares blankly at them while they do. Oh. Oh shit. _Oh shit_. This is something he is so not ready for. Not now. Sure he is over Rogers, but he is in no hurry to jump into another relationship. He hasn't even considered it. Maybe even avoided the thought like the plague. And here is Loki saying that Thor is... attracted to him. But no, not just attracted to him. And for who knows how long as well. Since he had been dating Rogers? Has to be, they broke up while Thor was away. That's some... food for thought right there. Right.

He lets them fight it out as he always does. This time Thor comes out on top, probably because he's extra pissed at Loki for spilling his secret. He looks up at Tony, slightly panicked as well as angry, but Tony beats him to it.

"Just _how much_ of that video did you watch? Because a) it's a good seven hours, b) Loki was also in it and I seriously question that part and c) did you enjoy yourself?" he smirks deliberately.

Thor makes a sound that is definitely a cut off whimper.

Yeah that's right, he still has it. Tony knows exactly what his expression looks like right now. His smirk grows.

"To be fair, you are an attentive lover," Loki adds from under Thor, "Even if I would never have done so without the pollen, I can admit to enjoying myself. It is a shame for you are one of the best lovers I have ever had," he sighs.

Thor growls at him.

Loki rolls his eyes. "Oh hush Thor or didn't you hear that part where I am not attracted to him?"

"That has never stopped you in the past."

"I only did that because the partners you were selecting were idiots. I was doing you a favor."

"I did not select them for their brains," Thor protests crossly.

"Also some were assassins sent to kill you. Your welcome."

Thor blinks. "And you never thought to mention that to anyone?"

"I took care of the problem fine by myself. Why bother," he shrugs.

"Because you might have been injured or killed yourself!"

"Hardly. They were expecting a fighter. They were no match for my magic. Fools," Loki scoffs.

Thor sighs, rubbing his forehead.

Well isn't this positively insightful. History ladies and gentlemen. There's nothing like it.

"Great, so now that that's out of the way, can you two stop it? My sanity does not need the push you are giving it."

They do not bring up Thor's feelings again, although Tony keeps it in the back of his mind for safe keeping. This is where multiple trains of thoughts come in handy instead of being a pain in his ass. He can think on something without really focusing on it too much and the next time it comes to the forefront of his thoughts, he has a better grasp on it. It's worked on projects before, there is no reason that it can't work on this.

So, interesting. Definitely. Fortunately there aren't any battles because Tony just _knows_ it would be a disaster. The team is split in half right now and neither side is giving. It doesn't take a PhD in physics to know that something is going to give eventually. It has to. This much tension cannot be contained indefinitely.

Funny enough it is Fury who is the one who breaks it. He walks in as if he owns the place, with not even JARVIS announcing his presence. "Potts, Rhodes," he nods in greeting when he sees them.

They nod back unsurprised.

He had been suspicious when they both stopped by this day unannounced. That never happens, not with Rhodey anyways. He always lets Tony know when he's in town. He was even more so when they dragged him down to the common floor to hang out. At first he thought they were trying to prove some kind of a point or make a power play. But now Tony knows they have been set up. For what, he isn't sure yet. Then he sees how satisfied they look and knows that shit is about to go down.

"Rogers, Barton, Romanoff, Banner, Stark, Asgard," he continues, trench coat billowing in the non existent breeze. Seriously, how?

Tony has to stop a snort from how Fury addressed both Thor and Loki.

"Sir," Romanoff and Rogers say while the other two nod.

Thor and Loki, clearly taking their cue from Pep and Rhodey, stay silent.

"I am here to make an announcement regarding the team. Some things have come to my attention recently and we have decided to make a change."

Barton looks pointedly at Tony, as if this is about him.

Who knows, maybe it is. He's been reliably informed before that he considers himself the center of the universe. Everything is about him, so why not this too?

"Effective immediately, I am moving the team back to the SHIELD base."

The reaction is immediate and explosive.

"What?" Barton yells.

"Why is that Sir?" Rogers questions.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Banner asks, clearly thinking of the Helicarrier incident.

"I am not living in that close of quarters with Stark or Loki," Barton continues.

Romanoff remains silent and blank, but Fury can obviously read her expression because he scowls at her. He scowls at them all actually. "That is fine Barton, you will not have to." And now Fury is smirking. "Stark does not have to join you if he does not want to."

"Why does he gets special treatment?" Barton complains.

"Stark, technically speaking, is only a consultant of SHIELD. That he is also Iron Man and chooses to fight with the team in his, admittedly limited, free time is on him, not SHIELD. No contract has ever been signed nor any agreements made. Stark is only an Avenger by association."

Tony... isn't sure how to feel about that. On the one hand, this just confirms that he was right. He was never a part of the team to begin with. Always an outsider. On the other hand this means that he doesn't have to play by SHIELD's rules. That he never had to in the first place. He is free to do as he wishes. And, more importantly, no more debriefings. Overall, it is more of a victory than not.

"And if you think for one second that I am letting that motherfucker," he points to Loki, "on my base, you are even stupider than I thought. And let me tell you, from where I am standing you lot look pretty damn stupid."

Ouch. Burn.

"Besides," Thor adds, speaking up, "my brother has diplomatic immunity."

Loki glances at him and while the average person wouldn't be able to read his expression, Tony has had plenty of opportunity to learn. It clearly says 'What the fuck?'

Which Tony would also like to know because this is the first he is hearing about it as well.

"So you're just going to leave him with Stark then?" Barton asks bitterly, because he obviously doesn't know when to shut up, "Since he's already taking it up the ass? Is he a good enough lay that he can control Loki through his dick?"

Thor growls, a low, dangerous thing. "Have care how you speak Barton, for I do not take insults of those I cherish lightly."

Barton, finally getting the hint, shuts the fuck up.

"And I have diplomatic immunity as well. I do not have to come if I do not wish so. And I do not wish so. I would have no desire to fight alongside the false and the weak."

"Alright, enough of this. Go pack your bags Avengers. And remember, not everyone has funding to give you your own personalized floor, so pack light."

Double burn.

The team marches out and Tony can honestly say he has no regret seeing them go. He never did anything because the world needs the Avengers. Well they will still have them. They just aren't Tony's problem anymore suddenly.

"Well that was satisfying," Rhodey says with a smirk.

Tony turns. "You knew," he accuses, "Both of you knew he was going to do this."

"Of course we did," Pepper snorts, "That was one of the first things Fury did while arranging this. He knew we would want to see. Especially after all they have put you through recently."

All they have... oh. Oh shit, they know now too.

"And before your mind works itself into a frenzy," Rhodey says, "the only people we are mad at have just left the room. Sure, you should have told us Tones, but that's only so we should have known that we _really_ needed to punch them sooner. Multiple times. In the dick."

His honey bear is so violent sometimes.

"As is, Fury was kind enough to let us watch. Although if they think this is the end of it, they have another thing coming." Pepper smiles, but it is her shark smile. There is blood in the water and there is no stopping her now. Tony would be a fool to even try.

And just like that Tony realizes it is over. He never has to see the team again if he doesn't want to. And he _really_ doesn't want to. He wants to continue being Iron Man, giving that up isn't even a question, but staying here means that he will be potentially fighting the same fights they will. Yeah, no. "What now?" he asks. It hasn't really set it yet either. It happened so quick and with no warning before hand. Well, for him anyways.

"Now we continue on. I'm thinking a change of scenery myself. We haven't been to your Malibu mansion in forever. I miss the waterfall," Rhodey smirks at him.

"We?" Tony asks.

"Well as you know I am the Stark-Military liaison."

"No, really platypus, since when?" Tony asks. As if he has ever stopped. Sure back after Afghanistan he stopped weapons manufacturing, but that doesn't mean he cut ties with the military entirely. Not making weapons was one thing. Not making the defensive protections that the soldiers wore was completely another. That would defeat Tony's whole purpose if he didn't make that anymore, so he's still a big name, if not the main one anymore.

"As such," Rhodey continues, "It is my job to keep you safe and keep you happy so you keep supplying the military. You are also in charge of maintenance on the War Machine armour. This means that I need easy access to you so you can repair and update as needed," he dramatically pauses, "I have orders to move in with you to ensure I am doing my job correctly."

Tony doesn't think. He launches himself at Rhodey. "Oh sugar pie. This is going to be great! Just like MIT all over again."

Rhodey makes a face. "I hope not. Do you remember what we ate in MIT? Because I do and I would hope we are better at feeding ourselves since then. Or at least I am. You still survive on caffeine and spite."

"Rude," Tony tells him, still grinning in his lap. "So very rude to me pumpkin pie. Shouldn't you be nicer to your roommate?"

"But true," he adds.

Tony shrugs, "But true," he repeats in agreement. He turns to Pepper, "I assume you knew about this too?"

She is smiling now, a real one. "Of course I did. How else was I going to plan your transfer from East to West coast? You are already. I only need you to sign a few papers before everything is complete."

"You are amazing Miss Potts," Tony says with feeling.

"And you are ridiculous Mr Stark," she answers.

"I am not," he protests, twisting around so that he can look at Thor and Loki. "Right? I'm not ridiculous at all am I?"

"Of course not," Thor answers immediately.

Tony narrows his eyes at him. "That didn't sound very believable," he says.

"Perhaps if you were to act your age," Loki suggests helpfully.

Tony flips him off.

"Just like that, yes," he agrees dryly, "Truly I can see your point now."

A thought hits him. "Wait, what about the two of you then?" This is great, getting to live with Rhodey again, being able to fight side by side, but he doesn't want to give the two brothers up. They've grown on him, the both of them. And maybe... maybe he's considering Thor just a little bit more now. Just out of the corner of his eye, every now and again, but, yes. The thought is still there.

"Would it be too inconvenient for you to have two more house guests?" Thor asks hopefully.

Tony rolls his eyes as if he wasn't just worried about leaving them. "Why Point Break, I'm insulted you even have to ask. Of course you can come. Right honey buns?"

"Right Tones," Rhodey smirks at him and oh no. He doesn't want to know what that is about. That smirk means nothing but trouble.

Tony would know. Everyone always assumes it is him that is a bad influence on Rhodey. They never stop to consider that it is the other way around. He has the angel image down pat too well. But really, he is Tony's best friend. He has been since he was fifteen. You would think that says something about what kind of person he is. But no, he gets all the sympathy. They act as if he is a long, poor sufferer who is stuck with him. They are always saying he has the patience of a saint.

Which is true, but it is also true that he can match Tony's chaos for chaos. He's just better at hiding it. So he knows to beware that smirk. Still, "This is going to be great," he says.

"This is going to end in flames," Pepper corrects, still smiling, "But then again, everything the two of you do ends up like that, so that really isn't a surprise. Just try not to destroy the mansion within the first month will you?"

"Oh ye of so little faith," Tony shakes his head, "Of course everything will be still standing in a month."

"It's the first year you have to worry about," Rhodey adds.

"This will be a glorious adventure!" Thor says excitedly, "A grand time, true Shield Brothers, fighting side by side to defend this world. As it should be," he nods.

Loki rolls his eyes at that.

"We must have a new name to commemorate this new team," Thor continues as if he didn't see the gesture very well himself.

"And I suppose you want to do the naming, Oh Mighty Thor?" Loki asks, "Tell me then, what is our new name?"

It doesn't escape Tony that Loki said we.

It doesn't Thor either, going by his beaming smile. "We will be..." he pauses, clearly floundering, "the... the... the Revengers!"

Loki snorts. "And _that_ is why you are not allowed to name things."

"What? What are you talking about? It is a fine name," Thor asks, indignant.

"It is ridiculous," he insists.

"Fine then, what would you name us?"

"Something less pretentious for one."

"You are one to talk about pretentious brother. Once," Thor turns to the others, "he was almost late to the feast with the royal family of Alfheim because he claimed his outfit did not match and his hair would not stop frizzing and he was sure to mortally insult them with his looks."

"Oh we are going to play that game are we? Well then, who was it that insisted he be called Thor the Magnificent for near a month and would not respond to anything else? You almost started a war with Vanaheim because you threw a hissy fit when the Ambassador – who you didn't even recognize when you should have – refused to call you by the ridiculous title."

"And who-"

Tony catches Pepper's eye as the two begin to fight and then Rhodey, for some unknown reason, decides to join in, suggesting names of his own inbetween embarrassing childhood memories. Probably just to stir up trouble. She shakes her head and he can't help but agree with her.

Yeah, this is probably going to end up in flames, one way or another.

But from where he's sitting, he wouldn't change a thing.


End file.
